Tolerance and acceptance: easier said than done.

My first seminar at work was a workshop on gay and lesbian issues. The conveners of the seminar wanted to sensitise the staff to the subject in preparation for an exhibition on the experiences of homosexual people in Johannesburg. Initially I thought the seminar would be boring but as it turned out, it became my first lesson on tolerance at the workplace. Before the seminar commenced, everyone appeared to be and claimed to be tolerant and acceptive of homosexuals.

The turning point came when a few minutes into the seminar, one staff member asked to be excused on the grounds that his culture did not allow him to engage in public discussions on sexuality. The silence that followed the request and the looks on peoples' faces said it all. The staff member's sentiments were shared by many. After much deliberation we all agreed he should be allowed to leave. The feel of 24 eyes all staring at him finally convinced him to stay (I suspect it was out of shame rather than anything else).

On thing that struck me through out the seminar was how most of those who claimed to be open minded and acceptive were in reality rooted in conditional acceptance. Many statements began with the following phrases; "Gays are ok, its just that they..." or "I have no problem with them as long as they...". Reference to homosexuals was through terms that were constantly 'othering'.

Later on when we went to lunch, it became clear that prejudices can not be done away with so easily. The very people who had argued for the fair treatment of homosexuals seconds before were now pointing out that they actually did not think homosexuality was normal. I was not surprised though, I had seen this often enough to know that peoples' feelings and their public statements are not necessarily the same. Tolerance and acceptance has to be about doing away with prejudices. Or, in the case of the sensitive staff member, realising that the work space calls for personal feelings and attitudes to be put aside when group work has to be done.